This is not a hotel!

By The Lemon Tree is best suited to independent professionals that do not require hand holding daily.

Other than furnished accommodation, we offer a perspective on life that is unvarnished and can be considered irreverent and politically incorrect.
Should you decide to engage in conversation when staying By The Lemon Tree, be prepared to hear arguments that will either conflict with, or alter your perception of, what you feel your role is or should be in the great scheme of things.

If we do our job correctly, you will leave By The Lemon Tree questioning your entire existence. 


If that does not put you off, then do know that we also have several turtles, cats and dogs around the house 

If you opt to join the Saturday brunch, we will offer you the usual fare plus, more unusually for this region of the world, bacon and, more often than is probably sensible, Prosecco.

Did we mention breakfast is not cooked on Friday?

Debate and discussion is encouraged and it often goes on till the wee hours of the morning particularly when ethylically induced. 

Topics range from discussing the advantage or otherwise, of placing the leading edge of the toilet paper to unfold from underneath or over the top of the roll, to sophisms on metacognition and general Quantum Pontification on Mental Onanism.

There is something for everyone By The Lemon Tree as too, there are comfortable beds, daily housekeeping, lavish showers* and a decadent food.

What you will not find By The Lemon Tree however, are maps of the country or telephone land lines. Prepare accordingly.

Remember! We are not in the business of managing people's sensitivities. If you cannot stand the heat, there is no shade By The Lemon Tree for you.

You have been warned!

Lest we forget:

"Quidquid Latine dictum sit altum videtur!"

* Purists of the language of The Bard have objected to our use of the term "lavish" in referring to our showers. 
Now, other than to say that English is my second language, what I can state categorically is that these folks have obviously never stayed By The Lemon Tree, let alone showered here, so that they know not that of which they speak!

This web site is fully, absolutely, pilam ad parietem compliant with Truth In Advertising Standards